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Short Story Fragment, and a Poll

I'm writing a short science fiction story called "Into the Wild." If you're interested in giving me some feedback about the first three paragraphs, please read it and answer the poll below. Don't worry - no matter what you say about it, I'm still going to finish writing the story. :)

(format note: I'm posting the paragraphs internet-style, but in the actual story they are regularly indented paragraphs)

***

Benny-Baby woke in a stinking, noisy new place. It was hard to keep his eyes open; he was curled up on some wadded stuff, dizzy. With effort, he stared up and around himself, and tried not to move, but to flick his eyes. Stark gray walls of vast height on two sides. A corridor of open space between them. No motion he could see, but sounds from all directions, nearby. His stomach growled.

Disoriented, he didn’t know what to do. Where were the others? This was not like the ward, and it was not like isolation. In isolation it was quiet and clean like the ward. Sometimes there was food in isolation, sometimes not. There was always a food place, whether empty or full. He didn’t see one in the jumble of shapes around him.

Agitation brought isolation. Calm was smart. He sat up guardedly, pressing back against the near wall and looking sideways. The corridor was long in one direction and blocked in the other, gritty hard ground scattered with dirty-looking items. He had been sleeping on sections of flat, brownish stuff with some crumpled other material on top, all as grimy as the ground. He wrinkled his nose.


***


Poll #968868 Into the Wild

How much do you enjoy reading short stories, in general? 1=not at all. 10=favorite thing to do.

1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
0(0.0%)
4
1(8.3%)
5
0(0.0%)
6
1(8.3%)
7
2(16.7%)
8
5(41.7%)
9
2(16.7%)
10
1(8.3%)

How much do you enjoy reading science fiction, in general? 1=not at all. 10=favorite kind of fiction.

1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
1(10.0%)
4
0(0.0%)
5
0(0.0%)
6
0(0.0%)
7
1(10.0%)
8
2(20.0%)
9
3(30.0%)
10
3(30.0%)

After reading the first three paragraphs of the science fiction story I'm writing, how much do you want to read the whole thing? 1=I don't. 10=desperately.

1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
0(0.0%)
4
1(8.3%)
5
3(25.0%)
6
2(16.7%)
7
0(0.0%)
8
3(25.0%)
9
0(0.0%)
10
3(25.0%)

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
greyduck
Apr. 18th, 2007 06:49 pm (UTC)
Here's the funny thing: You chose the same title as my last ill-fated NaNovel. Hopefully you'll manage better than I...
nayad
Apr. 19th, 2007 03:56 pm (UTC)
interesting! what was your "into the wild" about?

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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