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Note to my feline companions

Dear Cats,

Thank you for delivering freshly-caught rodents to our doorstep. Gee, that's sweet, and it shows what valuable hunters you are. Also, I never knew that it only took a swarm of about a dozen flies to make that buzzing noise you hear in the horror movies. Good to know. But I wonder if I could persuade you to drop them off behind the garage, maybe down the hill and into the woods a bit? That way they'll keep longer, in the shade. They tend to bloat up in the sun there by the front door. That would be great.


PS - Oh, and I'd love it if you left their heads on their bodies, just to keep things tidy. xoxo



( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 17th, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
When I lived up in Rio with Pandora, my sniper kitty, she'd leave her kills right in front of the cabinet where I kept her food. I think she was trying to pull her own weight.
Jul. 17th, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC)
Either that, or she was trying to give you suggestions for food she'd like better. ;)
Jul. 17th, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC)
Desmond Morris says that they do that because they believe you are an incompetent hunter and they are trying to help you learn, as a mother cat would her kittens. She brings them half dead prey so they can learn to kill it. Nice to know yet another way in which our cats disdain us, eh?
Jul. 17th, 2008 08:43 pm (UTC)
Well, they have a point. I *am* an incompetent hunter.
Jul. 17th, 2008 08:04 pm (UTC)
I always made my boys clean up the dead animals our cats would leave for us. They seemed more temperamentally able to deal with it, or I could have been rationalizing. (What is it that little boys are made of, snakes and snails and dead things with tails?) Now busman handles any ex-rodents that try to stake their claim in our living space.

I really can't handle rodents OR dead things. Birds too. I once moved out of an apartment because we had a mouse. One tiny little mouse. Don't even ask me about traps. Yick. I still have mini-nightmares about the time I awoke to hear the snap, then the poor thing FIGHTING TO REMOVE HIMSELF FROM THE TRAP! Oh, that was a good one.

And remember the farmhouse out near Dane? My roommate's cat used to bring her kills into the house - sometimes they weren't completely dead yet - and my roommate would say, "Oh, what a nice kitty you are!," as if it was a good thing. I, on the other hand, used to yell, "You killed it outside, don't bring that frickin' thing in HERE!" So I feel your pain.

So, which of your kids is more likely to think that dead, bloating animals are cool?
Jul. 17th, 2008 08:43 pm (UTC)
I think Felix is the only one who'd be likely to think that dead, bloating animals are cool, and that's only because he's two, and he thinks everything is cool. The other boys think the corpses are totally gross. They also hate and avoid bugs.
Jul. 18th, 2008 05:37 am (UTC)
One of our cats used to arrange rat parts in a line on the front porch. One morning it was: A tail, a left hind foot, a nameless internal organ, and half a head, with the glassy eye staring reproachfully at the door as I opened it and looked down.

It was straight out of The Godfather.
Jul. 18th, 2008 10:39 am (UTC)
I think you were living in dire peril.
Jul. 18th, 2008 06:53 am (UTC)
Dear Nayad's Cats,

Please teach my cats how to kill rodents. To date, Every's most impressive kill is a naturally mummified bird that had already been dead for years.


Jul. 18th, 2008 10:38 am (UTC)
Their consulting fees are really quite reasonable... ;)
Jul. 24th, 2008 03:39 pm (UTC)
Oh, Merlin, you post open letters too. May I friend you? We met at brdgt's party; apparently your necklace and my earrings are getting along quite well.
Jul. 24th, 2008 08:36 pm (UTC)
Oh, yeah, friend away! :)
Jul. 24th, 2008 03:40 pm (UTC)
p.s. at least you get bodies. Our cats used to just leave us a pile of feet and livers.
Jul. 24th, 2008 08:37 pm (UTC)
These cats have waaaaaay too much fun with the dismembering.
Jul. 25th, 2008 03:21 pm (UTC)
Well, wouldn't you?
Jul. 25th, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC)
I think I've just identified one factor in my poor hunting skills. *g*
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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